Travels with Pops

AMISH SUPER BEEFY ROUBAIX

Facts about today's suffer fest:

1) I still want to pronounce that word as "rebow" and so I'm going to keep saying it that way. To myself, at least.

2) We only saw one Amish person on the whole route. She didn't look like that famous Amish pornstar/model, either. Now, I'm not counting the Amish "Super Highway" where you see as many Amish people as you'd see obese people at a Wal-Mart. Talk about bicycling fools: the Amish blow us away as far as riding. Moms and kids out tooling around on bikes as if it were their lifestyle or something.

3) We saw this Amish dude basically get his buggy up on two wheels turning into the Walmart parking lot. Impressive. Walmart must rule, or something.

4) The ride started off kinda lame, then we did a screaming pavement descent, and things got all gravely and West Virginia-y. Egg cleaned this hill, and I say "cleaned" in the sense that it had all the steepness and looseness of any nasty single track climb I've ever attempted

5) He sucks and I hate him.

6) Of course, that pic does no justice whatsoever to the climb. If you don't believe me, then you can blow me.

7) Somewhere along the way, Peter Draggin said that the ride was "beefy" and I wholly concur. Much more gravely than the Athens to Lake Hope Gravel Rouser. Possibly more climbing (but no single track). Definitely steeper climbs.Sorry Michiganders: much longer and steeper than the Barry Roubaix...and it was free!!!!!!

8) Ah, to be young again: Peter Draggin and Gus rode single speeds. I personally would not recommend this particular choice of weapons. peter made some really strange sounds and Gus' screws and plates kept exploding all over the place.

9) I had visions of many sacred places. Ommmmmmmmmmm:: the High Country Pathway, Wild Wonderful West Virgina, that place north of Zanesville that I probably shouldn't mention, the Muskingum Mayhems of old, the back roads of Pennsylvania poverty, the glorious gravel roads of Michigan

  

11) If you ever wondered what is "out there" (like I have) when you travel down Interstate 77 or anywhere else where there's clearly some cool shit off in the distance, this is what's out there

12) The young men on single speeds occasionally hated life

13) I occasionally hated the fact that I was riding a cross bike and kept getting blown away on descents by assholes who had suspension and mountain bike tires

14) My iphone has gradually been taking crappier and crappier pictures

15) The mysterious cross roads of Killbuck Township. This was just after a very cool and very steep descent past a very scary junkyard out in the middle of nowhere.

16) We don't need no stinkin GPS. Ok, it might have come in handy a couple of times.

17) We saw this fag at the end of the ride who was walking around with his shirt off trying to impress the Amish ladies.

18) Gus and Peter Draggin were feeling so good that they just kept going on the Amish Super Highway. The only reason they came back was because Gus had to fart really badly and his ass was so sore that he didn't want to let it rip while he was still on his bike. Single speeders. A strange breed.

19) Approximately 49 miles, and 3700 feet climbed. Best ride ever.